So Thanksgiving is over, Chanukkah is over, The Pumpkin Man's birthday is over, it's finally time for Christmas. I'm not ready -- literally and figuratively.
Thanksgiving sucked. I had the swine and was awake for about 5 hours total, not consecutively. I was in bed more often than not over the long weekend, and sick for a week afterward. This set me back unimaginably for the holiday season. I was counting on that time to find the decorations for the upcoming festivities. Didn't happen. In fact, two weeks later it still hadn't happened.
Chanukkah was a bust. When I finally went to the basement to find the decorations, of course the missing box was the one with the menorah in it. So we had to go out and buy one on the night before. We ended up with two ugly-ass ceramic menorahs, and I still haven't found our pretty brass one. On top of that, we couldn't find candles anywhere. We went to
six stores with huge holiday displays
and no Chanukkah candles, NONE. Seriously? It isn't exactly an obscure holiday. Whatever. We ended up with 3 different kinds of birthday candles instead. Nice, huh?
The Pumpkin Man's birthday went off okay. My brother wasn't there because I'm
sick again and his wife is eight months pregnant. His absence made for a weird black hole feeling in me, but no one else seemed terribly phased. My boy had his first cake, which he seemed to enjoy squishing more than eating (however, he eat it heartily today). He got lots of toys and some nice clothes. Everyone had the same idea of bringing Peanut a gift so she'd feel included, so she had a mini-birthday. Oh and my grandmother-in-law criticized my baby for thumb sucking and squeezed her breasts at him saying, "my kids had these and they were happy..." Hello, Nutjob.
Today we went for the tree. It smells great in my house. I love the smell of Christmas, but I still wish I had a fire -- maybe someday I'll have a house with a fireplace. That's one of the few things I wish my children could have that I had, roaring fire with my grandmother's homemade stockings hanging on the mantle. I only have mine left, green red and white crochet squares with jingle bells.
What is it about Christmas that makes us nostalgic? I'm sitting here thinking about things I haven't thought about in years. Last year at this time it was also snowing, but I was in the hospital having just given birth less than 24 hours before. I vacillated between crying in sadness because it was the first time I'd been separated overnight from my little girl since she's been born, and crying with joy over my perfect, perfect little boy. Either way, there were a lot of hormones and tears. This year my baby is becoming a toddler and my toddler is becoming a little girl. And here I am crying again. Is it weird that these thoughts make me melancholy? I don't think I'm ready...
You aren't weird. That *exact* frame of mind earned me six children, trying desperately to hold onto the sweetness of babyhood. I thought that at some point, it would 'relief' that flooded through me on a first birthday, and then, I would know my family was complete. It isn't looking good on the relief front, my baby turned 7 months on the 19th and I cried all day from reading the stupid, "your baby is 7 months old today," email. Less than six months left? No......!!! (lunatic, might have been an apt description of me H.M.)
ReplyDeleteI'm not ready for Christmas either. My husband has tasked me, to go buy my Christmas present from him, so that I have something to unwrap. I am seriously thinking about printing a faux certificate for a boob job, and giving that to me from him. That ought to make a splash at my grandmother's house on Christmas, no?
Aww, It bugged me that Mr. Jerk wasn't there either! I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
ReplyDeleteHas Aunt Cookie made stockings for the kiddos yet? That might have to be my net big project... :)